When 311 is just not enough.

Some LA residents might be surprised to find out that you can get the phone number of any department or personnel in the city, or be directed towards the department who can help you, by just dialing 311. In theory, anyhow. I know I heard this about four times before I believed it or tried it out. (It’s not an emergency number, just for general help or info.)

So today I used it to get a couple of phone numbers.

“This is Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa. Welcome to the City of Los Angeles 311 system. If this is an emergency, please hang up and dial 911.” Then he speaks in Spanish and says the whole thing again. Then you have to press 1 to speak in English. (English is no longer assumed to be the primary language here in LA.) And what sort of person is asking the city to help him, and yet can only speak the language of another country? Talk about poor communication skills. And of course by this time, any speed we picked up by dialing 311 instead of the old phone number has long since dissipated.

The operators are usually helpful, but a little busy. The Mayor then tells you he will be playing a musical selection from an LA orchestra while you wait. (The music is bi-lingual.) So today I asked the operator for one number she couldn’t find, and then I requested the number of the LAFD. She said, “Okay the number is…” and then there was a distinct click.

….and here is when a little classic paranoia set in…

Edit: got the number. Paranoia levels back to normal.