Am I supposed to come up with a good reason for not writing here lately? Oh, pish-posh. You probably don’t want to hear that much about my new camera, parties, cartoon shenanigans (although you should know that my feature, Daily Special, now appears in Pasadena Weekly!), new fridge, old car, ants, fairweather friends, tetanus shot (don’t get one, it gives you a fever, really hurts, and only protects one out of 20 people, and that’s if you get a series!), etc. But readers keep coming (thank you, faithful few!) and it turns out I have a lot more to say. Carry on.

Dear Mayor Villaraigosa, You’ve been getting some rough press lately. Why not take a break, grab a shovel, and dig a few holes in the ground? Your Million Tree Project needs some help, and you can lead the way. There’s nothing shameful about getting dirty. Signed, Donna (I’ll just watch, thanks.)

Some LA residents might be surprised to find out that you can get the phone number of any department or personnel in the city, or be directed towards the department who can help you, by just dialing 311. In theory, anyhow. I know I heard this about four times before I believed it or tried it out. (It’s not an emergency number, just for general help or info.) So today I used it to get a couple of phone numbers. “This is Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa. Welcome to the City of Los Angeles 311 system. If this is an emergency, please hang up and dial 911.” Then he speaks in Spanish…