Let’s change the name to Griffith Parking Lot.

This website I found is a riff, right? Maybe they’re trying out for Comics Unleashed. Look.

The worst aspect of the Griffith Park fire is that it could have been easily prevented if our city “leaders” had done their jobs.

We at The Friends do not blame the apparent homeless man who’s a “person of interest” in the case. Nor do we blame the Los Angeles Police Department or our beloved Griffith Park Rangers for failing to remove him from the park before this all started.

Even so-called “bums” have to live somewhere, and he and all the dozens of other homeless living in various encampments in the park should have long ago been resettled to apartments in neighborhoods more to their liking elsewhere in the city.

In a van, down by the river? I’m very much concerned that the writers of this website may be what I’ve heard termed “liberals.” It’s a scary world, my friends.

SeraphimC calls this “River of Fire and Concrete.” But hopefully, no more fire.

He was also apparently smoking, which is once again a public disease with a public cure. Not once has Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa spoken out against this practice, nor has he moved to help smokers recover from their addictions.

Way to stay on the subject, dude! I hate smokers, too, but I don’t put it in my blog post! (oops) Although, I hope the V Mayor will consider take a stand against smoking. He needs a new cause round about now.

He, she, or they go on to say:

Each year, over a million people visit the park, yet only a small number of those are able to enjoy its full wonders because of these selfish extremists. [snip]

The hotel, restaurant, culinary school and sports complex [in Tom LaBonge’s Master Plan] will provide not just a profit center to help maintain the facility, but it will bring a diverse new group of people to our corner of the City.

There’s that leftism again! Yet…it’s not exactly what I would call environmentally friendly. Flying trams and stuff, you know. Should I call them capitalist centrists who probably live in a gated community, with only the TV as a window on the world?

The commercial pier into the Los Angeles River will serve as a festive focal point for our neighborhoods; no longer will just coastal communities be able to enjoy a promenade over the water. [snip]

Oblique aerial view westerly along under-construction I-10 Santa Monica Viaduct. (Can you tell that engineers wrote the caption?) Photo was taken by the Division of Highways on December 7, 1960.

Um, have these writers even seen the LA “River?” I mean, I see it everyday. I love it. (No, haven’t been in it yet, because I am just so timid, but I plan to go down there with my new camera!) But the point is, it’s a concrete channel, with very very little water, and that’s only when it rains, sometimes. (Here‘s a blog about what can grow in the river with very very little water. But still, to compare it to the ocean, as in coastal community?!) So this writer wants to build a concrete pier in a concrete channel? Well, maybe they have the tender eyes of an architect.

For instance, consider the peaceful spot known as “Amir’s Garden”. Despite having a city-issued sign, only the most fit hikers are able to enjoy its wonderful view and solitude. The dirt road to the Garden is too steep for many passenger cars, and they are not allowed to drive it anyway. The other trail to the Garden is horrendously steep and only for the most fit. We would propose an even grading of that dirt road in order that all may enjoy this spot.

More cement for everyone! I agree, some of those trails are way too “exclusive.” I imagine most people who go up there are hikers “in good shape,” or at least able to breathe without oxygen tanks. That’s kind of selfish. Or maybe riders of “thoroughbred horses” make it up there. They may even have won trophies, or blue ribbons. What showoffs!

The writer goes on to say how terrified Angelenos are of mountain lions, and suggests that LA start issuing permits for hunters to kill these dangerous animals. (Or to hit homeless people who smoke?) Of course, no mountain lion has been found, seen, photographed or even exists.

Read the rest at the link. (whine) Does diversity really have to include people who write like this? (/whine)

PS. I almost forgot his last line: “Do not let the fanatics rule the Park.” Where are the Burning Man trekkers, who used to meet in Griffith Park? Got a job for ya, fellows!

Or maybe the joke’s on me, and that site really is a parody!